#CurvyGirlProbs

Skinny is something I will never be.  It’s true!  I don’t mean for this to come off as defeated, it is realistic.  I am a curvy woman who was a skinny child.  The moment I got into my twenties I lost my girlish figure and became a woman.  It took me a lot of years, and a lot of tears, to realize that THAT was an ok thing.  It took me even longer to find a place where I preferred my curves to being skinny.  So, like I said I will never be thin again.  I walk a very fine line between having “dat ass” and “DAT ass.”  Alas, these are the trials of being a curvy woman.

1)   Ridding boots are my personal hell.  Oh Yay!  It is ridding boot season again!  Look at all of you lovely ladies with your feminine small calves.  Can I get an applause…you go Glen Cocoa!  I am super pumped the entire country has decided to embrace the ridding boot, because there already weren’t enough clothing options for me to attempt to shove myself into.  Challenge accepted!

2)   When pants fit my butt they are two sizes too big for my waist.  This booty of mine was not created to go on a waist like mine.  So a majority of the time I look like a mixture between a little old man attempting to still wear his old jeans with them all bunched up under his belt, and a smaller, less shapely version of Kim Kardashian.

3)   That moment when your skinny-butted friends put you in the middle of the picture… thanks pals…thanks a heap!

4)   Skinny jeans and/or leather bottoms…see number 1 above.

5)   That moment when you are getting into a cab that already has three people in the back seat and someone says, “just squeeze in, we will all fit.”

6)   That moment at church when the only seat is straight in the middle of the pew. Excuse me, sorry, aghhhhhhh!

7)   I love leggings; it is like the fashion world said “and to the curvy girls we give the right to wear yoga pants in public.”  But ladies of the curvy girl world: Ya’ gotta buy the thicker kind and ya’ gotta wear a shirt to cover dat ass!  You just gotta!

8)   That moment when you are walking stiffly and someone asks if you are sore from the gym and you say “yes”, because you are too embarrassed to admit you injured yourself that morning trying to get into your pants…

9)   That moment when a guy says, “Let me carry you” and you say, “no, you’ll hurt yourself” and he says, “no, I wont” and you argue for a little bit until you lose, and he immediately regrets picking you up.  Yep, he grossly underestimated the weight of that curve.

10)  Buying underwear.  I refuse to say the “P” word… but there ain’t no vanity sizing in Victoria Secret.  So you sheepishly look around before you quickly open and close the very bottom drawer.  Good news is you get to use the higher drawers for bras!  Little victories.

11)  That moment when you give someone your measurements and they say, “I think you may have measured your hips incorrectly.”  Then you reply, “nope, sure haven’t” and then you both awkwardly look at each other.

12)  The fact that when you gain weight your bum can grow to a surprisingly immense size, but your boobs will not budge.

13)  The power of the pencil skirt.  Although the pencil skirt can at times be a curvy girls worst enemy, the right pencil skirt can take you places.  It may even earn you a compliment or two in Wal-Mart.  Use with caution.

14)  That moment when you are working cattle and someone asks you to slide through the fence, and you blink at them.

15)  Buying swimsuits that don’t come in separates.  Actually you gave that up years ago!