Because Mom is a woman too.

I have entered into a sweet phase of my life with my friends, the baby phase.  Yes, it fills my heart with such immense joy to say that my friends are becoming mothers.  I am so enjoying watching them step into this new role in their lives, and to be honest, half the time I feel like my heart is TOO full…like it just may burst open at any given moment.  Yesterday a song took me back though, back to a place in time that will always mean the most to me.  It took me back to a little town in Kansas, where my path converged with the paths of a group of very special women (and you know who you are).  Even though my love and appreciation for them grows every day, I will always have a special place in my heart for those young girls running around the streets of Manhattan.  No matter how far life takes us I will forever and always remember them as those girls.

This got me thinking a little bit about mothers.  It is strange for me to think of my friends as moms.  I was present for some of their best and worst times, and I feel as if I have seen them be truly vulnerable. We have talked about their fears, triumphs, dreams, and disappointments.  Somehow it seems unreal that all of a sudden the girls I knew are now going to be one of the greatest influences in the life of a human being.

Moving into this new space with my friends really has made me aware of the person side of moms.  My friends are all still the same person to me.  Only now, instead of my phone holding text messages and snapchats of “silly college things,” it holds pictures and videos of first haircuts and ninja turtle pajamas.  I love how they include me in these moments and always remember to send their love.  It is so interesting to think how I am able to see them so clearly for the people they are, but sometimes I forget to see my mother for the person that she is.

Maybe it is just the role of a child to grow up viewing your mother as more of something than someone.  I mean, I often think about how lucky I am to have the mom that I have.  I am grateful for all that she has done for me and the time and effort that she spent on making my life amazing.  However, I rarely stop and look at her as Marjorie, instead of as Mom.  I guess that is because she really has been such an excellent Mom.  Do you ever catch yourself doing the same?

I had to stop and ponder how often I have overlooked seeing my mom as someone’s daughter, friend, or confidant.  I wonder how often I was oblivious to the fact that she wasn’t having the greatest day, or how maybe she was dealing with something bigger than my siblings and me.  I don’t tend to think of her as a person dealing with her own humanity.  I guess that is because she is Mom, the fixer of all things; the person who healed scuffed knees, the woman who baked 5 pies (for the FFA bake sale, that I had signed her up for…and forgot to tell her about until the day before), and the lady who stayed up late with me to make sure my 4-H book was submitted on time.  I never really considered things from her point of view.  Then, the other day, a good friend of her's experienced a great loss, and I experienced my mom as someone’s friend.  I saw how much Mom's heart hurt for her friend, and how much her love for this special person in her life mimicked my own.  Which made me realize how much of life she has to deal with too.  I had never thought how on the day my Grandpa died she lost her dad.  Or, how when my brother gets married it will be her son’s wedding day.  Or, whether or not there are days when she wakes, just like me, wondering what the hell she has gotten herself into…and just where the hell the time has gone.

Now, I don’t mean this to come off like I have never considered my mom as a person, or that I have been completely oblivious to her emotions in life. It isn’t so much that I never considered my mom in any of the above situations; I just never put myself in her shoes.  She has always been Mom, the greatest person in my life, I always saw her as more than being human.  I think, maybe, if  you search your heart you will agree that you have never considered your mom as a girl who was once sixteen; a young woman with fears, triumphs, dreams, and disappointments just like yours.  Have you ever seen her in the same way you view the other women in your life?  I think if your mom was anything like mine you are so used to seeing a strong, composed, giving person, that it can sometimes be hard to see that she is walking the same rocky path you are.  

I can’t help but wonder how my children will see me.  Will they see me as the Jessie that my friends know now?  Will they understand me for my weaknesses and appreciate me for my strengths?  I doubt that I will ever be the exact same person in front of my children that I have allowed myself to be in front of people dear to me now, but I hope that they will experience me for a majority of what my real humanity is.  Even if that means they get to see the crazy…eventually…when they are old enough to handle it.

So, if you are like me, I challenge you to start to see your mom for the person she is.  Remember that she was once a child, an adolescent, a young twenty something, and a going on thirty woman.  Remember that her life is full of the same joys and frustrations.

So here is to moms!  May we see them always for their humanity and not just their daily mom tasks.  Thank you for your time, patience, love, and faithfulness.  You really do have the best (and worst) job in the entire world!

“There are people in the world to save you when you need saving…cover your ass when it needs covering… and are always there when you need someone to lean on.” –Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood