Ten reasons I don't want to be a strong independent woman.
1) Because the definition of independent is: Free from outside control; not dependent on another's authority. I in no way want to have the complete control over my life, or live under my own authority. Sometimes I make terrible decisions. Sometimes I am blinded by emotion. Sometimes I don't have all the information I need in order to make a good decision. So, why would I want to trust myself with my life? I very much want to be a woman who desires to find God's best in all areas of her life. However, I don't have the ability to see parts of his larger picture and plan. I can not trust on my own ability to walk out the days of my life outside of His control.
2) Because the Lord delights in my weakness, not my strength. We have all had those experiences in life where we run out of strength. We have all been to that place where we can't imagine how we will even keep breathing, let alone make a decision. I have found that in those moments my gratitude for God is heightened. It is when I am vulnerable that I feel like I fully experience God's love. I want to be a woman who is vulnerable in her relationships in life and with the Lord.
3) Because I don't want full credit for my story. My life has been built on precious relationships. There is no part of my life story that I can, or want to, take full credit for. Whether it was the support of my family, good advice from a friend, or stern mentorship from a colleague, people have helped enrich my life. I want to always be the type of person who places great importance on the relationships in my life. I don't want to ever find myself in a place of standing on my own ability.
4) Because I believe in life giving relationships. I am by no means saying that women should value themselves based off of their relationships, but I believe in the value of relationships. I don't always want to be strong. I want to be able to rest in the security of a healthy relationship with a man.
5) Because there is a difference between a capable woman and an unavailable woman. I always want to pride myself in being a fully capable woman. I think it is important for a woman to be able to stand on her own and feel comfortable in her own skin. However, there is a big difference between that and being emotionally unavailable and shutting yourself off to possibilities. I never want to shut myself off from possibility. Whether it is a new experience, or a new level to something I am already experiencing, I always want to be growing and stretching in life. Shutting yourself off to one single area of your heart can do great damage. I want to live my life with an open heart.
6) Because there is strength and bravery in giving up yourself for another person. It doesn't take much out of you at all to do what you want to do, follow your dreams, and commit to your goals. On the other hand, it takes a lot to able to lay aside you in order to follow someone else's dream and goals. I want to prove to myself that I am brave enough to lay down my life for someone that I love.
7) Because there is a difference between being needed and being wanted. We all have people in our lives that need us. We all have skills and abilities that are necessary in different situations. However, being wanted has nothing to do with your skills or abilities. When you are wanted it is often based off of who you are, off of your heart. I can spend my entire life sharpening my skills and making myself better, which is a great thing, but that will never fill the desire I have in my heart to be wanted by someone.
8) Because God intends for us to live in fellowship. We are not meant to be solitary (independent) beings. We were meant to find fellowship in life. Darkness is the absence of light, cold is the absence of heat, and sadness is a lack of joy. When things seem lonely or uncertain it is usually due to the lack of fellowship in our lives. We need for certain things to exist, otherwise their lack can cause great discomfort to us. I want to live my life in fellowship.
9) Because it implies that there are levels to women. As women we are all different. We have our own strengths, pitfalls, success, and failures. So, what exactly does a strong independent woman look like? There are many ways I am strong, but I am not strong in the same way as many of my friends. So, which of us are strong and which of us are weak? Who decides? Oh, that's right...no one, because the comparison of women is bull#%*?, and really the last thing we should be doing. I don't think we should pride ourselves in anything other than being sisters in Christ, put here to build each other up...not discover new and unique ways to shame each other.
10) Because I believe that a majority of a woman's strength comes from her ability to love unconditionally. What all has your mother forgiven you for? I bet she has loved you, even when you weren't very pleasant. As women, I think we hold one of life's greatest gifts, we are built for love. We are built to give love, and receive love, with the fullness of who we are. I want to be a woman who finds her strength in her ability to love.
Obviously, this is my opinion and my opinion only. This blog does not reflect the view points of anyone or anything other than me.
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