Micro, Miles, and Mercy

Today I am chilling.   Yes, you heard me, chilling.   I woke up this morning and for the first time since I started my PhD I didn’t have the anxiety of qualifying exams hanging over me.     A very strange sensation, because it seems like for the last three years I have been walking around with this worry right at the back of my mind.   It has in many ways been an Omni present worry. Now, it isn’t the exams that are so much a worry, it is the fear of what those exams may tell you about yourself.   When you attempt something like a PhD I think there is always a little bit of you that believes that there is no way you will ever actually be capable of being a PhD.   For example, when I think about the PhDs in my life I think about how much I respect them, how much I am constantly learning from them, and how capable they always seem.   I guess it is just hard for me to ever picture myself being that way.   Just prior to my oral exams I had a moment of intense anxiety and fear

It’s August. August is a time of change in my opinion.   The time when summer begins to wind down and first inklings of fall start to show up.   Bath and body works releases it’s fall scents, clothing stores are pulling out the long sleeves, and Wal-mart has it’s back to school aisles fully stocked.   It is a time of anticipation.   People busy with last minute trips (desperately trying to cling to summer freedom), and getting ready to send the kids back to school.   Ohhh… August. I remember when August was a big deal.   As a kid I loved August.   I can remember when my mother used to take us to Boise to go school shopping.   It was the one and only big shopping trip we would have all year.   We would go up for the day and have dentist appointments, get new clothes, shoes, haircuts, pencils, backpacks, notepads, and the list goes on.   The very best part was Mom would let us choose a restaurant for lunch.   We would spend the entire trip to town weighing our options and maki